Lost Your SPARK? Eight Suggestions to get ON FIRE!
Have you ever been to a concert where you get all pumped up? You feel like nothing can stop you and that you can take on the word! This can happen after a great movie as well. You leave the theatre and the whole world looks like a new place, and you drive out of that parking lot fast and confident that you CAN change the world or at least, change yourself.
These concert or movie experiences literally light you on FIRE, give you HOPE and INSPIRE you.
Then, reality hits. Bills to pay, kids to wake up for school, meals to make, lawn to cut, cars to wash, soccer games to attend, meetings to sit through, and all the time you reflect…….wasn’t I just on FIRE?
What happened? Who put the flame out?
Others may douse it a bit, but only YOU let it die.
I was driving for hours with a dear friend and we were talking about her two brothers.
One has become a man of stature, has a family, and two homes.
The other has also become a man of stature, has a family and a home BUT he has one thing the other seems to have lost….FIRE!
This young man still has humor, excitement, joy, and could possibly be one of the happiest men I have ever known. Why? What happened that this one brother has spirit and fire and the other lost it?
In the famous three words from the Movie Elsa, he….LET IT GO!
He never ever cared what anyone else thought of him. He didn’t care when he was in High School (when I met him), he didn’t care when he was studying to be a lawyer, he didn’t care when he dated, when he got dressed, when he served at church, he always always just Let It Go.
That was the difference. He found joy daily in just being HIMSELF. And because he was happy with himself and had inner joy, all those who meet him (even with him being a lawyerJ) absolutely LOVE HIM!
Now I do realize all of us have hard times.
No one really knows what the person who is checking us out at the store is going through, what the waitress needs to do after work for her children when she gets home, what the mom is going through as her oldest child struggles with disease, what your friend will do now that they know what their spouse has done, what the single father feels when the kids leave, what a young man feels when his choices are different than those of his peers, or experience the young woman sadness with not fitting “in.”
Yet, all of us keep waking up.
We wake up and feed the dog, pay the bills, go to meetings, make meals, act nice to those we don’t know, take care of kids and other’s needs, and yearn for feeling………ON FIRE. All of us and all those around us could use a bit of FIRE in our lives.
Following are eight things you can do TODAY to re-fuel your fire. Some are easy fixes, others may take more effort. Trust me though, making the effort is worth it! These are my personal steps to staying ON FIRE, and boy do I LOVE being ON FIRE!
1) STOP BLAMING OTHERS. Please stop placing blame on others. When we blame anyone or anything, we enter the drama cycle. Most of you have heard me explain the drama cycle. Enjoy Life free of it! YOU CAN! In other words…LET IT GO.
2) BLARE MUSIC! Nothing picks me up more than loud music – and I mean LOUD! My kids walk in and smile and laugh or plug their ears (Lilly terribly dislikes my loud music….) Find your own “start my fire” music. Now BLARE THE SPEAKERS and wake up your soul! Then read the rest of the email…..
3) GO FOR A LONG LONG HIKE. Go with a friend, your spouse, or just yourself. Hike till you free yourself from your mind, and until you see Majesty everywhere. Don’t worry, you’ll see it, and then you’ll think, “Man I am small!” Yup – you are, just like me, small. Although our problems seem so big to us, they are in fact, small. To the world, they are quite fixable!
4) LAUGH! Laugh Laugh Laugh until you want to split open. Find movies, comedians, TV shows, whatever it is that cracks you up, and laugh! Call the friend that can make you laugh, and go hang out! Get away from the heaviness of your world and laugh!
5) EXERCISE – PUMP IT UP! Endorphins are released by your pituitary gland, and endorphins make you feel exhilarated and happy! Endorphins block feelings of pain, which is why people become addicted to exercise. Get a stationary bike and ride while you watch the funny movie, the educational film, or the religious inspirational conferences. Join a gym and hire a personal trainer. Ride up a mountain. Hike, swim in the lake, run run run, play basketball, join me for racquetball, or dance! Just do something to release endorphins, and heck, exercise too LOUD MUSIC!
6) DRIVE ON! This step is an easy way to “get away” and get a new perspective. I simply pop in some inspirational music or inspirational talks into the CD player and drive. I will sometimes drive for hours and then turn around and drive back. Driving and seeing creation at the same time being inspired does something to your soul. One of my favorite drives in the country is between Saint George, Utah and the Nevada border in Arizona on I-15. Now THAT is beautiful and yes, I blare my music when I drive through that area almost every time!
7) SERVE OTHERS! As we raised our children, whenever one of them became a bit down or “self-focused” they were sent out to serve the neighbors or help at our Child Care center. In my scriptures I have this poem about service:
Do something for somebody somewhere,
While jogging along life’s road;
Help someone to carry his burden,
And lighter will grow your load.
Do something for somebody gladly,
Twill sweeten your every care;
In sharing the sorrow of others
Your own are less hard to bear.
Do something for somebody, striving
To help where the way seems long;
And the sorrowful hearts that languish
Cheer up with a little song.
So something for somebody always,
Whatever may be your creed -
There’s nothing on earth that can help you
So much as a kindly deed.
8) MAKE LOVE NOT WAR I have found giving consultations across the country, that we have many couples forgetting to make love, as there is too much “war” going on at home. I feel inspired to share with you a few paragraphs from my book LIVE found in the Make Love Not War chapter:
“Making love is when you can openly express and allow these rushes of passion to flow. Having sex is when you are planning the dinner menu while in the act of – you know, or thinking about what the kids are doing while – you know, or hoping this is finally the time you will get pregnant after trying twice a day for a week during ovulation and you are getting sick of this – you know, or wanting to get it over because you have so much more to do than – you know.
Important note: if you actually want to enjoy the greatest rush of feeling a man or woman can experience – YOU NEED TO BE PRESENT!
Time and time again it comes back to being present. Your mind needs to be “in” on this experience as much as your body does. Do you honestly think she will like you, or even care about the hunting, fishing, sports and guy talk if all you want is – you know? Or do you think he will want to bring you flowers, pay for the dinner, open the door, watch the kids, and take the garbage out if you want nothing to do with – you know? Do you think your spouse will be attracted to you if you are more interested in porn than – you know? Do you think she will want to dress sexy, lead you on, lick your ear, say sweet nothings, and entice you to bed if you never make sure she enjoys the full spectrum of – you know?
YOU KNOW…..You Need Each Other!! In those moments you make love, it is all about making sure the other person feels needed, wanted, and pleasure. A tip to help create the magical moment would be to flirt! I flirt with Roger all the time, even sometimes at church just to make him smile. It drives him crazy because he is after all…at church! Other tips: Create true desire and want to feel these feelings, send an enticing text, leave sticky notes on rearview mirrors or computer screens, DANCE, re-read the virility and fertility sections, re-read the frequency sections, buy or create something sexy to wear, drink your green drinks, eat your veggies, stop eating synthetic hormones so they stop messing with your own hormones,go on a romantic date for Pete’s sake and get on with – YOU KNOW!”
Consider using all or some of these eight steps and get ON FIRE with life again TODAY! Wake up your soul and remember how great life really is. You CAN be on fire even under a heap of distress. You CAN wake up excited to live. Let the fire burn up the stress and refuel your life so you can be happy. No one can put out your fire, and no one can get it going again as much as YOU!
So to recap: LET IT GO, Enjoy Loud Music, Hike, Laugh, Exercise, Drive On, Serve and Make Love!
May your week be one of JOY, Loud Music and HEAT!
ENJOY THE FIRE AGAIN!